Phyllis's Wedding
by WrItInGfIcTiOn
Summary: This is what I think should have happened after Pam left when she was staring at Jim and Karen dancing. Jim follows her outside and they both confess something.


**This is what I think should have happened at Phyllis's wedding. It was so depressing seeing Jim and Pam's body language when they saw the other with their girlfriend/boyfriend. It was sooo obvious that they wanted each other. **

Pam sat alone. She didn't know where Roy was, Jim was dancing with Karen- Jim was dancing with Karen. Her heart sunk. She knew they were dating, she saw them hugging all the time, but for some reason right then, at that moment, it was different. She couldn't help but stare with a hint of devastation drizzled over her features. Karen's hands were rested on Jim's shoulders and his hands were intertwined on the small of her back. They were both smiling, laughing, just being in love. Yeah, they were in love. Karen was in love with Jim; Jim was in love with- Pam. Pam was in love with Jim, but for some reason they just wouldn't let the other one know about it. Pam continuously tried to convince herself she loved Roy, but even she couldn't lie to herself. Jim had already put himself out there, and he had been rejected. He would never believe that Pam had loved him the whole time and she just couldn't admit it. He had the humiliation set in his mind, and he had truly given up on her. He was now with a girl he didn't love, but it was better than feeling that pain when the girl you love goes home to her fiancé.

_Look away_. Pam thought to herself. Jim had caught her in the middle of her depressed stare. She felt like he could see right through her. His smile quickly faded. Pam briskly left her seat and walked outside, feeling embarrassed that Jim had caught her staring. He had seen her love-sick stare. When she got out the door she aimlessly walked around what she believed was a small courtyard.

"Karen, I'll be right back." Jim unwrapped his arms from her waist and started to walk away. Karen grabbed his arm, pulling him back to her. She had noticed Pam leave; she saw it from the corner of her eye. Her suspicion flared.

"Where are you going?"

"Just outside for a minute. I need some fresh air." he tore himself from her, rushing out the door. "Pam?" Pam had her face buried in the brick wall surrounding the small area outside. Her body was lightly shaking, tears erupting from her eyes. She didn't turn around when she heard his voice, instead more tears flooded out. Jim held her upper arm, turning her around, into him. She hysterically cried into him, her arms grabbing hold of his shirt. She needed to be close to him. She _needed _him. He gently rubbed her back, resting his chin on the top of her head. After some time her shaking slowed and her tears dried.

"What happened?" Jim asked as she slightly backed away from him, her hands still holding a grip on the front of his shirt. Her balled up hands flattened so her palms rested on his chest. He wanted to move away from her because he knew she would be able to feel how fast his heart was beating, but he couldn't bring himself to do that.

"Your heart." she mumbled, assuring him of what he had dreaded.

"Dancing." he shrugged. _What a lame excuse, _he thought_._ She nodded though, slowly moving her hands down his shirt. Finally when her hands were at his stomach she dropped her arms to her side. Jim's skin felt like it was on fire from where she touched him, but he calmly repeated his question.

"Pam, what happened? Why were you crying?"

"I just, you know."

"No Pam, I don't know. I was worried." Pam nodded, trying to by time for an excuse.

"I was just really upset that Phyllis pretty much stole all my wedding ideas for, me and Roy." he words were like poison to Jim, making him flinch.

"Yeah, I noticed." he stuffed his hands into his pockets and moved from one foot to the other.

"How did you know?"

"You always planned it at the office; I mean I was bound to hear about some of it." _Wow, he was really paying attention. _

"That's kind of funny; Roy didn't even notice that her wedding was like ours was supposed to be. Probably because he didn't help me at all." she complained. "I kind of recognize him trying to be better now, but I just don't feel anything when I'm with him. When we kiss, it's bland, it's nothing. It was so different from-" she stopped herself. Jim looked up at her, wondering if maybe she was going to say _ours_.

"From what?" Jim's fingers were crossed inside his pockets.

"I don't know, lost my train of thought."

"No you didn't." she was caught off guard. He looked into her eyes, even though for her it seemed more like he was looking into her soul. There was no point in lying to him anymore.

"I was so stupid." she whispered. They both knew what she was talking about, but Jim still needed to hear it.

"About what?"

"I can't do this." she reminded herself. She started to wipe away more tears as she looked down. "We always choose the worst timings don't we. It's like it just can't work out for us."

"Why not?"

"Karen, Roy."

"I don't love Karen. I know that's awful to say, but- Pam, do you even know why I left Scranton?" she shook her head. "Because of you." he barely murmured. "And the reason I'm going out with Karen?"

"Because you too are good together?"

"No. Because of you. I had this huge empty void to fill, and I just needed- I don't know what I needed. I guess just something. Honestly, on Casino Night when I left I wanted to die. There was no reason to live, no reason for anything." Pam could see water forming in his eyes. She couldn't believe she was making him cry again. _I'm awful._ "But maybe you and Roy-"

"I just settled for him. I don't even know why we're still together. After you left I cancelled our wedding because you made me question it. I couldn't go through with it-" Jim was never very patient on waiting for speeches. When he walked into the office that night and Pam started to say something, he wasn't about to stop. He had his mind set on something, and he did it. It was the same kind of thing here. Hearing her talk, hearing what she was saying, he couldn't wait. He wrapped his arms around her waist and their lips met. This time there was no sign of hesitance. Her hands cupped his face as her lips played softly against his. There was as much passion in that kiss as there was on Casino Night, except this time it was so much better. This time, they were both sure. They both wanted it.


End file.
